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The Top Ten Dating Red Flags

Dating Red Flags Defined: Those little comments or behaviors made by the other person signaling that something is not quite right. These dating red flags may suggest that there are issues worth further consideration before pursuing any kind of meaning.

Dating Red Flags Defined: Those little comments or behaviors made by the other person signaling that something is not quite right. These dating red flags may suggest that there are issues worth further consideration before pursuing any kind of meaningful relationship.

In searching for your soul mate, it is very important to avoid the wrong partner. So you will need to be alert and aware of the consistency of your partner’s behaviors so you can avoid relationships that are doomed for disaster. If you always seem to pick the wrong partners, seek the help of a relationship coach.

Below is a list of the Top 10 Dating Red Flags:

1. Smells like liquor, drugs, or tobacco.
Don’t rely on your partner’s description of their drinking habits (or any other addictive substance). Remember, if your partner is an addict, their judgment impaired and they are probably in denial.

When you love someone with an addiction, you are in a love triangle – You, Your Partner, and whatever the addiction is. It is impossible to feel truly loved by your partner when they put their addiction above you.

2. Is disrespectful or abusive to others.
In the early stages of dating your partner may treat you like a queen (or king), while he (or she) is trying to impress you. Note their behaviors to others: Are they rude? Do describe others in derogatory terms? You will surely be their target once they let their guard down. Get out before you become their target.

3. Lives with parents.
Adults living with their parents, except for temporary or extenuating circumstances, could lack the responsibility and maturity to live on their own. Nothing takes the love and romance out of a relationship like feeling like your partner’s mother or father.

4. Lies, cheats, or manipulates.
Honesty is the foundation of trust. And trust is the key to intimacy. Run as fast as you can from someone lies, cheats, or manipulates. You’ll always suffer from suspicion because you are never sure when your partner is telling you the truth.

5. History many sexual partners and relationships.
A person with a history of many sexual partners and relationships can spell trouble on several fronts. You are increasing your odds of acquiring an STD. Your partner has demonstrated their inability to commit to one person especially through the difficult times.

6. Has a white ring around the finger.
If you spot a white ring around the finger, be sure to be on the alert for other signals that you might be dating a married person. Other suspicious behaviors include: does not let you see his/her home, can only be reached by cell phone or beeper, does not like to be seen in public places with you, etc.

7. Gets attached (or falls in love) too quickly.
Individuals that hastily jump into a relationship with both feet may be looking for someone to rescue them from their problems. Be sure to assess their motivations for rushing a relationship. Are they a single parent, who is desperately looking for someone to help parent their problem children? Are they heavily in debt and looking for a Sugar Daddy/Mommy? Are they sad and depressed and looking for someone to make them happy?

8. Blames others for problems.
Individuals, who cannot take ownership for their problems and are very entrenched in their “victim status”. They will eventually start blaming you for all of their problems. Worse yet, no have no hope of improving the situation, since they will not acknowledge their part in a problem or conflict.

9. Does not want to help with simple chores.
Someone who pouts when you ask them to help you clear the table or take out the trash, is likely to view you as a maid or hire help rather than a partner. In the long run, you’ll likely end up resenting this person.

10. Avoids discussing his or her past.
A person who avoids talking about their past could be hiding something serious such as a criminal background, a wife (or husband) they never got around to divorcing, or children they gave up for adoption, etc.

If you find this information help, I have many more Dating Red Flags listed on my site at
Recommended reading: Are You the One for Me? Knowing Who's Right & Avoiding Who's Wrong by Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D. This book does a great job of helping you identify unhealthy relationships. If you have a history of having a "broken picker" when it comes to picking a partner, GET THIS BOOK. Pay special attention to the chapter entitled "Fatal Flaws".

May you always experience LOVE and JOY,

Linda Lovejoy, M.A., L.M.H.C.

Life and Relationship Coach

About the Author
Life and Relationship Coach, Author, Speaker, Teleclass Leader, & Syndicated Columnist.

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