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Men: When it comes to the Dating Game, are you Playing with

"Men: When it comes to the Dating Game, are you Playing with Scared Money?"

-- by Mike Pilinski --

(c) 2002 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. -- All Rights Reserved

I have a friend who's a big time gambler -- horses and sports book mostly, but he'll take a flyer out to a casino and burn up a crap table once in a while. His playful lifestyle has given him a unique view of reality. Here's what he told me about betting and risking: He said that the absolute worse way to approach any game of chance was to go in with a pre-set maximum limit in your mind of just how much money you are willing to lose.

"I'm only gonna bet $50 -- if I lose it, forget it... I'm done. This way I can only lose a maximum of $50! Smart guy, eh? That's not so bad, right?..."

Notice how much energy is expended deciding how best to protect your money -- while little consideration is given to doing whatever it takes to actually WIN? This is a classic loser's mentality, not the "smart guy" style of play. Why? Because it's an overriding play 'strategy' (and I use this term loosely) that's based upon the assumption that you will probably LOSE no matter how events ultimately unfold. There is NO consideration given as to how you're going to win -- because in the deepest recesses of your mind you do not accept that winning is really possible. Oh sure you might've chalked up the rare victory here and there along the way, but in the long run you will always somehow end up the loser (you think). So the "Big Overriding Idea" then becomes to protect yourself against any serious losses.

My buddy calls this Playing with "Scared Money". And he has another saying too...


Timidly, you lay down your bet and the House sweeps it away. Bye bye, jackass. See ya again when you have another $50 bucks for me to cleave off your wallet. It never fails. There is just no way to play the game of life in a half-assed protective manner and ever make any real progress. The "I'm-not-going- to-take-any-risks" approach to life is a formula for abject failure.  Plain and simple. Nature seems to abhor it, and ensures that all its practitioners are gleefully punished with unending failure and frustration.

The *successful* gambler -- by contrast -- always remains focused on WINNING, and keeps punching through his losses with a bulldog determination until he gets there. The way my friend describes the process must seem terrifying to the risk adverse... if you lose $50, you bet $100 next time. Lose that, and now you bet $200. Next time, $400. The idea is to keep doubling your bet so that when you finally DO win it will more than cover your previous losses. Yikes!

You see, the confident, ballsy gambler has to keep pushing harder and harder into his losing streak with steely nerves, knowing that a WIN for him is out there eventually. His only fear is that he goes completely bankrupt before reaching it. But if he does bust out, well...

...there's always next time!

Lots of guys approach the game of love and romance in a similar fashion to the timid gambler. Their "Big Overriding Idea" is to protect their EGO (their "bet") at all costs -- and that cost usually turns out to be complete failure to meet anyone! Instead of focusing on the importance of WINNING and being successful, they are concerned instead on "not losing" and keeping their self- esteem intact.

But it's exactly this kind of timid approach that turns women OFF and insures your failure with them. Women can smell your fear -- it's as unmistakable as an open sewer! And it screams: Low Status Male.

Bottom Line: when it comes to scoring with women, like gambling, you will lose far more often than you win. THIS IS HOW THE DAMN GAME IS DESIGNED!!! Understand something here: the *losses* are the payment for the win -- NOT the "wager" that you make with your self-esteem. I repeat... you pay for your future winnings with the losses, not with the risk to your ego that you feel you're taking. Keep this in mind because, if you're losing on a regular basis with women, it could be that by protecting your most valuable asset (your ego) you're preventing yourself from laying down a bet with the REAL currency that the Game demands... i.e., a string of setup losses.

You see, the guy playing with scared money doesn't understand that the gamblers' thrill of winning far exceeds the agony of the losses it took to get there. Dominant males win at the game of seduction because they NEVER play with Scared Money...

And neither should you!

Mike Pilinski is the author of "Without Embarrassment", a new e-book designed to show men how to develop unique psychological defenses to protect themselves from ever having to fear being rejected again. Visit and pick up a FREE copy of the 25 page Mini-Course "The Three Keys to Seducing Any Woman" **Official Author's Website**

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